SOULUTION

To me, crying is therapeutic. I start crying when I see someone else cry. I cry when I watch movies, TV shows, and even commercials. It can be embarrassing. I’ve been this way all my life.

One evening, in a church group, the subject of crying came up. This woman in the group, who had the most prominent resting bitch face, said, “Crying is for wusses.” True heart of gold {sarcasm}. I asked her what about David speaking to God in Psalm 56:8? Or Revelation 21:4? Or you cry after a good laugh? She just looked at me. I could tell by her silence that she didn’t read the Bible that much. She’s wrong. Crying is okay for everyone.

When I dealt with postpartum depression after the birth of my daughter, I could not cry. It was the first time in my life that I could not muster a single tear. It was horrible. I felt dead inside. It took a year before I could cry again. The moment I did, I felt like a weight was lifted off of me. Maybe my problem wasn’t completely solved, but I felt like I was coming back into my body again.

Fast forward to today: my only child turns 18 tomorrow. High school sports will get in the way of her big day. Last-minute changes foil any plans I had for her. The very things I never had growing up, I wanted to do for her. However, she doesn’t seem to want a big deal about it. So, this weekend, I have been crying a lot. Crying because my baby is no longer a baby. Crying because my efforts aren’t very appreciated.

There are many reasons to cry: sadness, disappointment, suffering losses, or tears of joy. Crying helps get through these times.

According to health psychologist, Dr. Grace Tworek, “…after a good cry, your parasympathetic nervous system (the system of nerves in your body that allows you to ‘rest and digest’) can take over. That allows you to shift out of a ‘fight or flight’ response. That shift can make you feel as if a weight is lifted and things become clearer.” While crying may not solve our problems, it is good for our bodies and our souls.

Every therapist’s office has a box of tissues for a reason. But you don’t have to be in one to cry. Those tears that fall are not wasted.