Progress Over Achievements

Hustle over here, hustle over there, get a side hustle. Hustle. Hustle.  When will it ever be enough?  Covid forced our lives to come to a screeching halt.  Many of us didn’t want to do anything but snack and take naps.  As places begin to open up and many go back to work, the hustle is starting up again.  Fast-paced life is trying to make a come-back.

While they may be great, modern conveniences cause us to have zero patience for things that take time.  I stood in line at a popular athleisure clothing store.  A customer was talking to the cashier.  The customer asked the cashier what she had to do to get nice, toned arms like her.  The cashier replied, “thanks, but this took years and many workouts.”  We see those infomercials for workouts and diet plans.  “Get slim in 21 days.”  What it means is to pay thousands of dollars to starve yourself, consume their nasty products (which may cause your body harm), and exercise 5 hours a day.  Then, you can look this great, even though our exercise model works out 8 hours a day, eats practically nothing, and still has airbrushed pictures.

I wish I could achieve my goals and desires quickly.   I admit I get down on myself when I see others acquiring so much, and yet I feel like I have not moved forward.  The pressure to achieve and make more money feels crushing.  I have a weekly group I meet with on Zoom.  My friend who leads the group is quite accomplished.  She works very hard and has achieved so many things.  Someone in the group pointed that out.  She said yes, I had achieved a lot, but I also do not have any kids.  If I did, I definitely would not have had the time.  It was my turn to speak.  My daughter came running down the stairs and interrupted the meeting because she needed help with her computer, which froze during online schooling.  I realized at that moment; this is a reason why things take longer for me. I am raising a human!  I don’t want to ignore my child’s needs, so I have to stop and start and stop again.

In the last 13.5 years of being a parent, I have made much more progress than I give myself credit.   I am also healing from past traumas, an eating disorder, and crippling anxiety.   Even though I wish I were mentally healthier, I am way better off than I was 13.5 years ago.  If you are healing from childhood trauma and you feel you should be farther along than you are, remember your brain developed in that environment.  You managed the best way you could.  New neural pathways need to develop to heal from all that you endured.  This development takes time.  Recognize how far you’ve come.  And if Covid has taught us anything, it is that our health and connection with others are so much more valuable than achievements and hustle.