Is the Intention to Heal or to Hurt?

“Gracious words are like honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24


It is very easy to react negatively when someone is rude.  I admit, I fly off the handle when someone tries to back me into a corner with their words.  My defenses go up and the claws come out.  However, I have learned this never works towards anyone’s benefit.


The last few months have been difficult since my car accident.  The concussion I sustained from the accident has had its lingering effects.  I received a phone call from an insurance claims adjuster representing the responsible party.  It was not a good conversation.


The insurance adjuster accused me of lying about the severity of my injuries that I sustained from the accident.  I was not happy with the treatment that I was receiving.  While I realize that this is the method of operation by most insurance companies, I also have the same insurance company as the person who rear-ended me.  So my auto insurance was fighting me.


I complained to her supervisor about my treatment.  She was standing by her employee and said, they have to ask these questions.  I said, “She could have asked me the same question but in a more appropriate tone.”  Also, I requested a new adjuster.  The supervisor said they would not change the adjuster.  So I mentioned that I consulted with a personal injury attorney, who knew of this adjuster and was happy to take my case.  The supervisor replied, “We will get you a new adjuster.”


That conversation made me realize when we deal with conflict, it seems that we don’t want resolution, we just want a fight.  We want our voices heard, show the person that they hurt us and to reciprocate.  


I know I will be in battle for a proper resolution for my case.  But I know this.  I need to be persuaded by Godly wisdom instead of their bullish intention to close the claim quickly.  And listen to The Holy Spirit for the right words to say.


Lesson Learned: In times, when we do need to battle, the end result should always be to seek resolution.   I intend on using words that heal, not hurt.   



“Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for carrying on a fight instead of seeking resolution.  Holy Spirit, give me the right words to say when I am in conflict.  Quell my emotions from getting the best of me.  Help me see the whole picture and be brave to do the right thing.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!”

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