Faith in the hope that it will get better

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Anxiety is exhausting for both mind and body. I am getting tired of dealing with it. Most of my days are good, but every once in a while a day feels like it won’t end. I had one of those days last week.

This particular day there was a message left by a person that was threatening to sue our company. Of course, it was an empty threat and he was just annoyed we sent him (along with many real estate agents) a marketing letter.  Also, my co-worker wanted me to see her new electric car. I get motion sickness quickly and those cars seem to bring it on. I only wanted to see it not drive in it.  I about peed my pants, when she started the car.  I said, “sorry but not today.” In my head, it sounded calm but I could see her looking at me like I was crazy. I opened the door and acted like I was interested in the rest of the car, when I was actually looking for an escape route. We ended up back in the office. I could feel the panic coming. I finished up work and left for the day.

I could not shake the feeling, I had this heaviness on my chest and this feeling of being on alert. I was attending a prophesy workshop with another church. I knew God wanted me there and I was determined to go. I cried the whole drive down there. I fought my way through the feelings in the beginning of class. But I ran outside because it was coming back again. If you are going to have a panic attack, the best place is to have it where people can pray strongly against it.

I was so embarrassed and felt guilt that I still have these moments of sheer panic, where there isn’t a situation that it is warranted. Before I got prayer from these wonderful people, I received a text message from a dear friend about the feelings I had. This was her text message:

Hang in there! The day is going to come soon when

you won’t keep feeling this way and

you will be used to help show others the way out, too.

Just hold on to that hope. It will happen.

Whether it is in that second or in the distant future, I need to realize that it will happen! I have more better and calmer days than I used to have. I never got diagnosed as a child, but I have had this since I was a child because I recognized how much I have always worried about everything!

But God has carried me and brought me people to settle me down when those times seem out of control. No matter what I have trouble with in life, God’s full victory for me will finally be received.

Lesson Learned: No matter how long it takes, I will overcome!


Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your protection over my emotions. I pray that your word be in my heart and mind, so I can remember what is true and noble. Thank you that victory over struggles in my life and near and equip me Holy Spirit for discernment. I pray that this mess become a message to share for others to hear that are in need of your love forgiveness and grace. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!”

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