“A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.” Proverbs 25:28
The book “Boundaries” from Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend is one of the most influential books I have ever read. I never knew what a boundary was when it came to my mental health. As I read this book, I realized my lack of boundaries and how I hated have them put against me. It is a long road to establish them and to continually enforce them. You have success and then you don’t. It can be frustrating and weary. But they are so important to keep.
I wrote this post in my series, “Daily Lessons Learned”. “It is so important to make sure your mental health is well, healthy. It is OKAY to seek help. Recently, I have been dealing with someone who has never asked for help in this area. They think everyone is at fault except for them. I know their past has haunted them and this is why they are the way, they are. While it hurts my feelings with the words they spew, I have to make sure my boundaries are keeping me safe. The most important thing is asking God, what to do. It sounds so cliche, but if you remove yourself from all the noise this world puts out and just listen, you will hear the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit instruct you in what do do. I am always trying to fix things and make things happen. But it hasn’t always worked out. Simply ask, “Lord what is it you want me to do”…trust me, something will be said. It may not be what you want, but it is what is right.” I will expound on this particular situation.
I was very hurt in the conversation I had with this particular person. I called a dear friend and she listened and said, “well let’s pray about it.” So we did. I don’t always hear a word at first, I get a vision. I saw many circles in the sand. I would see a wave of water come across them and some of the circles would wash away. Then there were the circles that remained. The water seeped into the line of the circle but never went into the center, similar to a moat. I asked God, “What do you mean by this?” I heard, “Strengthen your boundaries and the size of them depend on your current state of your relationship with this person. Sometimes, you have to stand your ground and other times, you can listen and compromise.” I took the next 2 weeks, to wait to call the person. I felt I would be too emotional to talk to them. I called and calmly spoke to them, stated my thoughts and offered a solution. There was a sense of calm, we both explained ourselves and arrived to a solution. Thank you Jesus!
Sometimes it takes years to be able to deal with difficult people. It is okay. We learn things in the process and got will redeem lost time and pain!
“Dear Heavenly Father, I pray a hedge of protection around me when I am dealing with difficult people and situations. Holy Spirit, I ask that you show me what I need to do and what I need to say. I thank you for redeeming lost time and pain in all that I have encountered. Help me accept other people’s boundaries and have your supernatural peace in life. In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!”